So.. well we could give you excuses and apologies about our absence but instead I shall relate to you the tale of our imprisonment in full so we're all on the same page.
Some time in the night, mid December, each of us was taken from our homes and deposited unceremoniously in a holding tank which was damp, cold and dark. Our only comfort was that the three of us shared one cell. On the second day of our absence from our homes and families we were greeted by our captor, or at least by the limb of our captor. The questing tentacle of a great squid flowed into view from where we sat in the cell. It unlocked the door and waggled in a 'follow me' motion.
Down tunnels and corridors and staircases and across great dank halls we followed this retracting limb as it continually withdrew from our following footsteps. We reached a chamber both tall and wide, the opposing walls lost to view behind the great bulk of what we assumed to be the squids body mass. Tentacle after tentacle appeared to swarm around and between us, we were lifted up, into the air and brought before an eye..
When I say eye, I mean a 6 foot wide great glassy orb which held unknown sentience and intent. I can speak for all three of us when I say, we were shitting it. The eye seemed to evaluate us for a few seconds before once again the tentacles holding us moved to bring our trio to what I assumed was its mouth.. or beak.. or whatever this beast ate with.. We were in trouble.
Just as suddenly as we had been squid-napped a terrible trembling rocked the masonry halls and the squid itself paused in it's meal. A secondary concussion made the room tremble and the tentacles which bound us loosened and we dropped the dozen or so feet to the ground. The great bulk of the squid was on the move as it's tentacles writhed and sped towards an overhead opening in the great stone roof. We recovered from our fall and made our way back through the entrance we had previously used.
Men came then, lots of men, men in black suits and black masks and black harpoons. One of these men stopped by us while the rest poured past the corridor and into the room we had just vacated. The man which we took to be our escort then led us to a brass and copper made lift shaft. He bid us enter and once aboard he rolled a ball into our midst. The lift we now stood in rumbled and began to rapidly ascend, our guide disappeared from view and our attention moved to the ball which rocked about the lift floor.
The ball was made of glass or something much like it, and shone with a blue light from an unknown source. As the lift traveled higher, the ball seemed to grow in brightness until we had to turn our faces from the blue light which still rocked back and forth. The lift seemed to be slowing when all of a sudden the ball flared up and blinded us all. This is the last memory we have of what happened in the depths of that great squid. We believe this is the same squid we have previously had to wrestle for our business cards and we now have a personal vendetta against this particular watery beast.
We all awoke in our own and respective beds and our families have treated us as if we never left. Although much puzzled and bemused by the events which occurred in those halls we are relieved to be returned and able to spout what we like again.
ugh.. all three of us have also been playing 'Skyrim' and this may also have accounted for our absence from the webbernet.
See you all soon!
The Hand.
